21 March 2009

A Saturday Brainteaser!

I know, I know, you want to relax on your Saturday. You don't want to have to think or do any work or take that ball gag out of your mouth. Well, suck it up. This will only take a moment. The brainteaser is as follows:

A farmer has three ducks and two sheep. He has to cross from one side of a river to the other, and he must bring his animals with him. Unfortunately for him, the boat will only hold 200 pounds at a time. Each duck weighs six pounds and each sheep weighs thirty-five pounds. The farmer weighs 190 pounds. The boat weighs 120 pounds. The river, if placed in a large container and taken to a truck stop, would weigh 1.3 million pounds. There is a scorpion under a nearby rock. He weighs 4 ounces. With one sting, he could kill either all three ducks, a single sheep, or 1/2 of the farmer.

With the information given above, answer the following question:

Where the hell are my keys?

A. In the ignition of my car
B. In a 70s swinger party bowl.
C. The last damn place I'll think to look.
D. Other (Please Specify)

28 comments:

dizzblnd said...

LMAO!!

D. they will be in THE last place you look.. because face it.. if you keep looking after you found them... you need to see a shrink!

Shawn said...

Probably don't need another reason...

Jen said...

You almost lost me when it looked like a math problem. I was wondering where the fox was 'cause I know the answer to that one.

Your keys have been taken by my daughter who has stolen countless guest's keys and flushed them. Sorry.

The Farmer said...

Hel-LO! Is someone gonna get me the hell across this river? I'm still waiting...

Maureen said...

C. It's ALWAYS C!!!! At least in my sad world it is. Oh, and none of them crossed the river. The farmer lost his keys to the boat too.

C.B. Jones said...

B, The answer is most definitely B.

Dalton J. Fox said...

They're in the fridge. Ever noticed how people will frequently look for their keys in the fridge when they lose them? Wonder how often they find them in there.

Shawn said...

Jen: I have far too much respect for my readers to taint a perfectly good Saturday with actual math. Even those readers with key-thieves for daughters.

Maureen: Always "C" was my usual approach to standardized tests in high school. And what my dad would mumble when he looked at my report cards.

C.B.: I only WISH!

Dalton: They weren't in the fridge. However, there was some old chicken I had forgotten about and now wish had remained forgotten.

Farmer: Perhaps you should have thought about that when you cheaped out and bought the flimsiest boat you could find. Good luck, sucka.

lilaphase said...

Are you sure what you found in the fridge was chicken? And not the aforementioned ducks?

The Ducks said...

Not funny, lilaphase. Ducks r peeple 2 u no.

Shawn said...

lilaphase: uhhh, that would explain the long, orange bill-looking thing. I wondered what that was and why it was so hard to chew.

Ducks: then again, I don't keep a computer in my stomach. Now I'm really confused.

Don said...

Thanks for having me read something worthwhile and waking my brain for the day. It doesn't make a lick of sense, and I have no answer. My brain sure is lively now. Thanks.

C said...

Whenever my kids ask me where something is I respond..."If they were up your butt you'd know it." Don't know why I do that...but have you looked there?

Jen said...

I had another thought about where they might be. Whenever the ex husband would lose the remote it was always, ALWAYS, found sitting on the tank of the toilet. Maybe the keys are there?

The Scorpion said...

I'm pissed that you implied I can only kill half a farmer. You pansy-ass writer typing on your little keyboard (probably a laptop and not even a REAL computer). Why I oughta come up there and sting your ass!

Shawn said...

Don: You're very welcome. A mind is a terrible thing to taste. Er, waste.

C: I looked there first. No go.

Jen: He took the remote control to the bathroom with him? I don't like to lose power over the TV, either, but I don't take it to that extreme.

Scorpion: This is a real computer, scorpion, you don't even know. I will totally punch you in your scorpion face.

Margo said...

I don't do brain teasers - unless Hugh Jackman is somewhere near the beginning and he isn't wearing a shirt.

JerseyGirl said...

don't steal my line. i'll punch YOU in the face. b-(

lol.

Sheeps said...

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Heather Cherry said...

What, you can't even write your own profile, Scorpion? You had to link to a Wikipedia entry that someone else composed? Wow. You totally suck.

Me-Me King said...

Oh, these are your keys??? oops.

The Scorpion said...

I have minions that write my bio because I'm very important. Also, in case you haven't notice I have big claws unlike you fancy little 10-digited humans. It took me about three hours to type my last comment. Heather Cherry, all I can say to you is "check your shoes tomorrow morning" young missy!

Shawn, if I wasn't on tour with this stupid Discovery Museum gig, I'd come over there just to watch you try to hit my scorpion face. Instead I have to sit around tomorrow in yawnsville and watch snotty little 2nd graders tap on the glass wall of my office.

Oh and if anyone on the staff of the museum is reading this: I WANT FREAKING FRESH CRICKETS NEXT TIME!

Shawn said...

Margo: You could always picture Hugh Jackman as the farmer. I pictured him more as a Richard Farnsworth-type, but it's open to interpretation.

Jersey Girl: And you stole it from Dane Cook, so it's all fair.

Sheeps: I knew you were going to say that.

Heather: The Scorpion has got a real attitude problem.

Me-Me King: That's just GREAT...

The Scorpion: That sounds like a horrible time. At least they give you internet access in your "office".

Heather Cherry said...

You don't scare me, Scorpion. And anyways, a lobster called. He wants his look back.

In yo face.

Lobster said...

I want my look back.

Shawn said...

Called and commented.

The Scorpion said...

Lobster Shmobster. Scorpions are far superior speaking from an evolutionary standpoint. Sure, lobsters have better armor, but 1) they are highly desired by predatory humans, 2) they have to live in water, 3) they can't sting and their tails tuck UNDER for God's sake and 4) there's no cool folk story about their legendary trickery.

Yes, Internet access in my office is one of the nice perks of my job (in addition to some pretty good health care). Also, I get to stay home for a long time between tours. My old lady likes that.

Shawn said...

Scorpion: You have presented a worthy and well reasoned argument. I'll look very forward to the lobster's response.