17 March 2009

St. Patrick's Day


When I was in elementary school, there was this kid named Patrick in my class. He was kind of a misfit, never seeming to talk to anyone or grasp the fundamentals of Red Rover, Red Rover. On St. Patrick's Day, we used to gather around him and dance in a circle chanting, "You're St. Patrick, You're St. Patrick" with the unbridled cruelty that only boys of a certain age seem able to muster. We found the taunting so satisfying that we started doing it on other days of the year as well, like on Thursdays. We didn't stop until one day he got so enraged that he tore off running through a grassy field, only to accidentally fall into a bottomless well.

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when his undead spirit came back twenty years later and killed all of our children, but I still kinda was, because. . .well, who really expects that to happen?

16 comments:

Da Old Man said...

No one could have seen that coming. Ok, maybe the well part. And the vengeance. But usually ghosts aren't so patient.

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Shawn said...

@ Da Old Man: fair enough, but then you're psychic abilities have been well documented. I don't know if you can hold the rest of us to that standard.

@ goldensparks: Thanks, that didn't come off as spammy at all.

Heather Cherry said...

How do you know the well had no bottom?

dizzblnd said...

I wonder if that's what REALLY happened to "The Ring" girl as well?

HumorSmith said...

So all's not well that ends in a well?

Shawn said...

@ Heather: I'm an amateur well digger and surveyor.

@ dizzblnd: Could be. We may never know the truth of Samara's demise.

@ Humorsmith: Is a horrifying story such as this really the place for puns?

Kirsten said...

That sucks! I didn't realize that the undead can't just get over it!

Heather Cherry said...

If you're that smart then you would know that if the well is bottomless then you'd just keep falling until eventually you popped out of a hole in the ground in China. You should know that from watching cartoons.

KerriSydney said...

So, I guess wishing you a happy St. Patrick's Day might be out of line?

lilaphase said...

Oops, I accidently commented above with someone else's sign-in.

Shawn said...

@ Kirsten: yeah, they are persistent as hell.

@ Heather: I did wonder why the demonbeast he became was always rolling around in a rickshaw.

@ lilaphase: Yes, it stings a little.

Angry Max said...

Only fools and normal people don't expect retribution from the dead. Personally, I'd like to start getting back at the dead for their crimes. Happy St. P's.

Shawn said...

@ Max: I must be a fool, then, as no one has ever called me a normal person. I'm with you on the revenge, though. It's time to take a stand against zombies, hellbeasts, and the undead in all its ugly forms.

You go first, though.

Sean Donland said...

It could have been worse, he could have fallen into a pair of bottomless chaps. These vengeful spirits never try and see the bright side of things.

Shawn said...

@ Sean: Worse for all of us, in fact.