13 March 2009

And the Green Tooth Goes To...


Continuing with our community enlightenment program (as mandated), I'd like to take the time to recognize someone who has gone out of his way to change the way we look at the environment. Now, I should explain something before I move on, just so we don't get our signals crossed. I have to admit: I don't understand exactly how "going green" helps the environment. I know it's something Al Gore wants us to do, and I know that pandas and polar bears and Jake Gyllenhaal might all die if we don't do something about it. And I guess that's the important thing. It's the right thing to do, even if I don't understand why.

With that spirit in mind, I'd like to present the First Annual Shark Tank Green Tooth Award for Excellence in Going Green. If going green is the way to a healthier planet, then this guy has taken the reins like nobody else. Not only has he selflessly given his time and energy to studying molecular biology, but he has done so with considerable harm to his personal being. He is a true visionary, and, as such, has been vilified by the very people who employed him: the United States Government.

Without further ado, I'd like to congratulate Dr. Bruce Banner for going green like no one else I can think of. Again, I have to admit I don't know how it helps the environment, but you can't deny the dedication. Congratulations, Dr. Banner. This Green Tooth is for you!

12 comments:

Jen said...

I don't get the green thing either. I mean who cares what happens after I die? Let the planet go to hell for all I care. Seriously, what are a few plastic bags that don't biodegrade. There is a woman who is making fine crafting products out of our discarded plastic bags, http://janet-favorite-online-shops.blogspot.com/2009/03/plarn-adventures.html. If she can do it so can someone else and we really don't have a problem. All this toxic waste is really just someone's opportunity for wealth. We should be wasting a whole bunch of other things. Besides if we make the planet all nice and clean then the aliens are going to come down and take it from us. We don't want that to happen so it is our global responsibility to trash it so we don't lose it.

dani c said...

Ya, I'm not a green person either.. It's too damned exspensive...

Shawn said...

@ Jen: Maybe it's all the paint I've been huffing, but you're making a lot of sense.

@ Dani: yeah. All the makeup.

lilaphase said...

Good one!

Are you suggesting we all experiment with bomb materials in order to 'go green'?

Shawn said...

@ lilaphase: legal counsel has informed me that no, that is absolutely not what I am suggesting.

ettarose said...

Your award went to the person I think deserved it most. Now if we could teach him to eat PETA members. Now that would be going green!

Margo said...

I was just feeling a little nauseated this morning as I thumbed through daughter's Seventeen Magazine The Goin' Green Issue. All these jaunty looking teens wearing organic hippie dresses and talking about turning off the water while they brush their teeth all in the pages of something that's already in the trash (not the recycling bin)

Sean Donland said...

If anybody deserves it, it's Bruce Banner.
*walks out and leaves all the taps running, lights on, aerosol cans spraying. *

Kirsten said...

Great choice! Bruce is definitely not responsible for any polar bear deaths. Good for him!

Shawn said...

@ ettarose: I don't necessarily know that the Hulk eats people. . .

@ Margo: Yeah, reading about going green can kinda turn you green after a while.

@ Sean: That's just irresponsible. There's an Aqua Net shortage in North America, in case you haven't been reading the news.

@ Kirsten: Agreed!

Beth said...

A little green goes a long way, if you ask me.

Sean Donland said...

Haha, touche.