19 March 2009

An Open Letter To That Guy Trying To Break Down My Front Door With An Ax

Dear Ax Guy,

You know it's open, right?

Sincerely,
Shawn

11 comments:

Kirsten said...

LMAO! You make me laugh every day!

Shawn said...

@ Kirsten: Excellent. I hope you'll support my campaign for world domination (coming in 2013).

Heather Cherry said...

That guy. He never checks the lock! I think he secretly just likes to show off his axe, like, "Whoa... everybody! Check out my totally awesome axe and stuff."

Sarah said...

Is the axe guy wearing Axe cologne? I hear doors just open themselves when guys wear that stuff.

Wendy said...

Why are you waiting so long anyway for the campaign?

Shawn said...

@ Heather: Exactly. I mean, it is impressive, but how many doors do I lose to prove it?

@ Sarah: He smells like a combination of notebook paper and Juicy Fruit, so I'm gonna say no.

@ Wendy: Gathering ultimate power takes time. So, so much time.

Heather Cherry said...

Notebook Paper and Juicy Fruit.

Is that the new fragrance by Miley Cyrus?

ax guy said...

WTF ...I smell like juicy fruit ? And yes, sometimes I do like to just show off my ax..it's better than showing off my "happy man part" no ?

HumorSmith said...

Probably some humor blogger wannabe.

Shawn said...

@ Heather: if not, I'm going to patent it.

@ ax guy: Finally, a direct response to one of my Open Letters! And in all fairness, the smell is more similar to that old Fruit Stripe gum than Juicy Fruit. And the second part of your defense is irrelevant, as your "happy man part" was totally visible.

@ HumorSmith: we should probably get along great, then.

Heather Cherry said...

Please let me know if you find any investors as I am still trying to sell my idea for Eau de Puppy Breath.