18 March 2009

Horsedance (Don't Steal This Again, Hollywood!)

Following some rather unexpected reactions to my stolen movie idea, Horsedance, I decided maybe I was wrong. Maybe there were enough differences between my little movie about a dancing horse and The Sixth Sense to make it worthwhile. Maybe what the world needs right now is a movie about a dancing horse. Having burned the original script years ago, I had to start fresh, but I think it's coming along nicely. Here's a sneak peek for my loyal blog readers. I don't want to toot my own horn, BUT. . .it's pretty amazing. Let me know what you think of this intro sequence:


The world is fresh with promise. The rising sun casts a springtime glow on the small Pennsylvania farm. The camera pans to watch chickens pecking in the dirt. Pigs rolling around in the mud and doing piggish things. And finally, horses. One horse stands out from the others. This is HORSEY. He seems to shine. [insert CGI "shine" effect here]

We watch as two men approach the horse pen. They are wearing overalls and carrying buckets of oats. These two men are FRED CANHILL and JESSE DAVIS.

This is a great farm, Fred. I'm sure glad you invited me to come work here.

Don't mention it, Jesse. When your mom passed away, it was the least I could do. [some ominous music plays on the soundtrack. We'll find out later that Fred actually killed Jesse's mom.]

We see Jesse and his mom running through an open field together, playing Connect Four, running through the ocean, playing Battleship.


JESSE (wiping tears)
These horses sure do like their oats, Fred. I wonder where oats come from?

Well, Jesse, [research where oats come from so Fred has something to say here]

I'll be damned. I guess I thought they just grew up out of the ground. [change this if it turns out oats actually do just grow up from the ground]

The two men reach the horse pen. Fred starts to open up the gate, but stops, watching HORSEY with a suspicious eye.

You think the story of oats is fascinating, Jesse? Wait until you see this!

Fred snaps his fingers and Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean" starts playing out of nowhere. The camera zooms in on HORSEY, who starts bobbing his head to the irresistible beat. After a moment, the other horses back away. HORSEY pulls out a top hat and stands up on his hind legs [CGI effect if this can't be done.]. He thrusts his right front hoof out in front of him and we see that he's wearing a silver sparkly glove. HORSEY starts dancing up a storm.

Jesse looks at the dancing horse and then back to Fred, his jaw wide open.

That's what I call HORSEDANCE!



Kirsten said...

You are a screenwriting genius!! A real idiot savant, if you will.

Steph said...

If I may...

I would get the pigs into the action too – as backup dancers. Re-title the film "Horsedance and friends".

That way you open yourself up to all kinds of animal dancing action.

Shawn said...

@ Kirsten: Thanks! Wait...

@ Steph: With all due respect, I think that might come off as a little silly. This is a serious drama.

lilaphase said...

Since it is sooooo serious and ominous and everything, shouldn't you use Thriller?

Then it might even become a cult classic with everyone dancing along with Horsey in the aisles . . .

wait - I shouldn't just GIVE away such good ideas. Nevermind, forget everything I just wrote.

Dalton J. Fox said...

Jesse Davis? I know him!

"change this if it turns out oats actually do just grow up from the ground" -- hilarious

Shawn said...

@ lilaphase: I thought about Thriller, but it's been overused lately.

@ Dalton: lol, really? Hope I don't get sued...

dizzblnd said...

I can see it all in my head.. the horse grabbing his big horse wang, doing the moonwalk and neighing in a shrill annoying way

Too funny

See? I told you it had potential

Shawn said...

@ dizzblnd: I know, I think it has a real shot at Oscar potential.

Angry Max said...

Hmmm... if you have a 2nd act love interest for HORSEY, then I think you have a winner here.

Wendy said...

I would buy a ticket for this movie if there was free popcorn and drink included. Just brilliant!

Shawn said...

@ Max: You read my mind.

@ Wendy: Awesome, I'll include that clause when I shop the script around.

Heather Cherry said...

I totally lolled.

Hi. Larious.

Daniel said...

Hey, thanks for the link you put to my blog btw! You rock man!

Shawn said...

Thanks, Heather. No problemo, Daniel.