16 March 2009

Greg Duberson's St. Patrick's Day Sale

[Even the Shark Tank has to pay the bills somehow, so for today's entry I'm turning the wheel over to Greg Duberson. Duberson is the "undisputed king of St. Patrick's Day and also every holiday" and is here to tell you about some of the wonderful products he's selling this year. Take it away, Greg!]



GREG DUBERSON'S ST.PATRICK'S DAY BLOWOUT!!!

I can't tell you enough how much it means to me for Shawn and The Shark Tank to let me come back and tell all you folks about the special sale I'm having tomorrow (AND TODAY) for St. Patrick's Day. The last time I was here and I told you about the Valentine's Day stuff and all that, and I couldn't BELIEVE how many people showed up. It was really heart warming and it made me think that maybe I was right when I told that doctor to go to heck.

Let's do it!!

DEAD FROG!!



I thought it would be so much fun to mostly sell green stuff on St. Patrick's Day, since so much of the holiday is about wearing green stuff and drinking things that aren't usually green but then they are green on this DAY. Like green beer, like I once drank at a bar in Port St. Lucie. But the weird thing was is that it wasn't even St. Patrick's Day in fact I think it was closer to Christmas. And I remember that it gave me the poops for almost a week. But anyway, this is a dead frog I found and you can see that he's not really green, but when I think of frogs I think of green frogs like Kermit. For sale only $3.25.

GREEN UNDERWEAR!!



These are brand new from the store and now you can wear em for only a part of the cost!! Naw, I'm just kidding, they're mine. I don't really remember why I bought them except I remember I used to watch those commercials with the green M&M and I would start to feeling in that way that made me want to rub up against my trailer. I guess that's why I bought this underwear even though I kinda think it's for a girl. I only wore them a few times though so they're like NEW! $10.50.


JAR OF PICKLES!!



Do you like pickles because to me they're about the worst thing I've ever tasted in my LIFE! One time this guy gave me a pickle and he said "try that" and so I did. Well it's kind of embarrassing but the second I bit down on the pickle, I started to throw up. But then I didn't want to be rude or nothing so I held my throw up inside my mouth and I ate the pickle and swallowed the throw up back down in my stomach. $5.99.


STREET SIGN!!




Well, I don't actually have this one in stock right now but if you are interested, I can help you get it down. I've got some tools leftover from when I was in the plumming business and I don't think it should be too hard to get it down. One thing is that it might be against the law to take the sign down so if your a cop or something probably you have to tell me before we make the sale. Because if you don't then that's entrapment and I won't go to jail.

Well, that's all I've got to show you. I don't want to give away all the stuff I have because then there wouldn't be any surprises for you to actually show up and SEE! Anyway, I've moved to the back of Catfish Country in Lakeland, FL right off of South Bartow Highway. If you come around the back then you'll see my van and I'll have a sign out front that says St. Patrick's Day SALE! and there'll be a little drawing of a leprechaun. THANKS!


10 comments:

Heather Cherry said...

What? No Bruce Banner for sale? Even Shawn said he wins for going green.

This g'rage sale sucks. I'm never coming back ever!

What will you have for sale next time?

lilaphase said...

Sorry, I'm a bit picky. Especially when things are used.

So can you show the other side of the frog? can you show the inside of the underwear? could you take one of the pickles out of the jar and put it in the underwear?

Thanks in advance - I have no need for the sign.

Shawn said...

@ Heather and lilaphase: now, now, let's be a little more hospitable to our sponsor. I'm sure that Greg has many more interesting items for sale at the actual. . .van. And lilaphase, your requests are just out of line. Just out of line.

Heather Cherry said...

Your face is out of line.

Oh, snap.

Sean Donland said...

Can I buy a booger?

Shawn said...

@ Heather: Your face is. . .out of line. Shit.

@ Sean: Please be serious, Greg Duberson is trying to make a living.

Heather Cherry said...

Boo. Yah.

*bowing noise*

Shawn said...

What exactly is a bowing noise?

Heather Cherry said...

Sort of like a swooshing type thing.

Hey, thanks for the link!

Thinkinfyou said...

Lakeland is just a hop,skip,and a jump from me! I'll be there!