Some Dogs Don't Deserve to be Adopted

[As part of a community outreach program, The Shark Tank is pleased to welcome SPCA Tampa Managing Director Phil Gillman, who has a few words he'd like to get off his chest about pet adoption.]

For years, the SPCA has been the leader in the nationwide movement to protect precious animals from evils such as overbreeding, abuse, and neglect. As part of that effort, we have encouraged a system whereby potential pet owners come to us for adoption possibilities, rather than patronize expensive pet stores that likely sell pets from outdated and immoral breeding farms. While this movement has been a tremendous success, I can no longer stand by and let bad dogs go to good homes. Let's face it, some dogs don't deserve to be adopted.

To prove my point, I'm going to pick a sampling out of our current batch of dogs at the Tampa chapter of the SPCA. Don't get me wrong; many of the dogs here are well trained, obedient, and ready for a nice home. They will play with kids, fetch the newspaper, and do all manner of things people expect out of their faithful friends. Then there are the dogs I'm about to feature. While some of them certainly look like the type of pet you would bring home to Mom, let there be no mistake: these dogs are bad. Let's take a look.

Name: Bernie
Breed: German Shepherd Mix
Favorite Color: Atomic Tangerine

Why He Doesn't Deserve to be Adopted: Bernie is certainly a playful sort and one look at his rambunctious face will lead even the most hard hearted to fall immediately in love. Unfortunately, Bernie is a habitual liar. He claims to have invented helium and to be the first dog in space. This could be excused as mere senility or even eccentricity, but his lies are typically not so grandiose. Usually he just lies about whether or not he's been fed.

Name: Captain Courageous
Breed: Welsh Corgi
Favorite Song: "Yes! We Have No Bananas" from the musical Make It Snappy

Why He Doesn't Deserve to be Adopted: The good Captain will fool even the sharpest of dog lovers with his meek manner and his lovely pork choppish scent. Adopter beware, however! Captain Courageous is one of the laziest canines I've ever had the displeasure to meet. Though his resume suggests a great deal of experience in secretarial work, he will not take so much as a single page of dictation, even at a fair wage. If you like your dogs to be freeloaders, this is your guy. Otherwise, avoid.

Name: Roxy Fantabulous
Breed: Labrador/Great Dane mix

Favorite Insect: Pink Katydid

Why She Doesn't Deserve to be Adopted: Roxy has a number of traits typical of a dog. She likes to chill out and chew on a bone. She likes to go for long walks, stopping every few feet to release imaginary pee on unmarked patches of land. She even likes to watch television, particularly late night infomercials. Oh, and she likes to crush your dreams as quickly and efficiently as possible. What's that? Oh yeah, Roxy is our resident Debbie Downer. Let's say you're thinking of going back to school to become a dentist. Roxy will be there to remind you how hard the entrance exams are and how unwise it would be to take out student loans at this point in your life. Maybe you dream of asking out that gorgeous gal you see every Friday at Starbucks. Roxy will quickly let you know how unsuccessful this would likely be, considering your growing pot belly and undiagnosed skin condition. Sure to trample every aspiration until you settle in to your meager existence, Roxy Fantabulous should never be adopted.

Adopting the wrong dog is not only bad for you, bad for the dog, and bad for the planet, it actually sets our efforts back considerably. For the sake of all dogs everywhere, make sure you do some research before adopting a pet and don't reward bad dogs by giving them a loving home. They don't deserve it.

Greg Duberson's 4th of July Sale

[Even the Shark Tank has to pay the bills somehow, so for today's entry I'm turning the wheel over to Greg Duberson. Duberson is the "undisputed king of the 4th of July and also every holiday" and is here to tell you about some of the wonderful products he's selling this year. Take it away, Greg!]

GREG DUBERSON'S 4TH OF JULY BONANZA!!

Well guess what it's your old pal "the Dubes" here again with some great stuff for you to celabrate the 4th of July in style because if there's anything that we're talking about on this day it is INDEPENDENCE! That means we don't have to be afraid of terrorists or the british or also the guys who dress like girls.Because this is MAN'S BUSINESS and it's all about AMERICA! Want to have the time of your life then this is the place and I've got the goods! Let's SEE WHAT'S HERE!

AMERICAN FLAG TEE SHIRT!!



Now with this tee shirt that I designed myself with the help of some photo software you can be looking the part of a real patriot on this INDEPENDENCE DAY! Speaking of that, have you seen that movie? That's probably the best movie of all time if you ask me and if you want I've got a copy of that tape in my van and I might just play it while the sale is going on. I taped it off TV but I took out all the commercials and junk. $22.99


1776 MARBLES!!




I counted them myself which took me just about forever. You can't have the jar, but if you bring something to hold the marbles in I can just pour them out into whatever you bring. The reason you can't have the jar is because it belongs to my neighbor and he likes to keep stuff like insects and bats and stuff in it. I dont know what he's using to hold all that stuff while I'm using it for my marbles but I hope there's not a bat flying around in his house because it could bite him and then he might turn into a dracula. $9.50.


INDEPENDENCE DAY VIDEO!!




Aw, why the hell not. $7.75


ALOE PLANT!!



A lot of people like to set off fireworks themselves on the 4th of JULY I KNOW I DO! But if you're not careful you can burn yourself with one of those sparklers or even blow your hand plum off. I remember one time when I was just a young buck there was this kid named Danny Matthews and he lit a cherry bomb off and didn't get away fast enough. It didn't even hurt him at all but later that summer he got hit by a milk truck and it made him retarded. $35.00.


Well that's not all I got, but that's all I'm going to show you on this blog because we have to keep some things a SURPISE to make you want to come out and see the sale!!! I changed locations again, this time I'll be in the parking lot of Bok Tower Gardens in Lake Wales, Florida on Friday from 8:00 in the morning till whenever and the same thing on Saturday unless security kicks me out and then I'll be at the Hardees on state road 60.

Frank Wilson Wants To Save Your Soul

[The Shark Tank is happy to welcome local preacher, the Reverend Frank Wilson. Frank is having some difficulties raising funds towards building his own church, and I told him it would be just fine if he were to write a post to get the word out. As well as The Word.]

Thanks for coming to read my words here, friends and family. Though this is a sinful blog, I'm not like other preachers who are too good to share the gospel with the unwashed masses. A lot of clergymen think that they can fulfill themselves just by preaching to the converted, but not I. I like to get down in the dirt and scratch around. And I can't think of any dirtier people than those in my community and those that read this website.

Any of you reading this should go and get a loved one, especially if you have a child. Have them read my words along with you and read it to them if they can't read it for themselves. Jesus said "To read it yourself is to believe it with all of your heart" and I think that's true. And you will believe my words.



You see, most of you are doomed to Hell. It says in Mary 12:29, "Thou arte probably going to Hell". It doesn't say "maybe" or "perhaps". It says probably. That means it's more likely than not. I'll wait while you read this to your child. If your child doesn't know what Hell is, you should read them this passage from Elkwinds 4:13:02, "Hell is a terrible place where children are burned with fire and then beaten with hammers and then bamboo shoots are forced under their fingernails and then they are bodyslammed." Does that sound like the place you want to spend eternity? No, me neither.

Phurlucians 11:93 states, "If ever someone comes to you asking for money to start a church and thouest say no to them, then thou shalt surely be eaten by a werewolf." This is nothing to play around with. But there are ways around it. Because I'm starting a church. And I need some startup capital. Therefore, you really have a choice to make, and you know the consequences are dire for making the wrong choice.

It's like the story of the Devil and the Lamb. Paraphrased from the gospel of Levinthite: Once there was a lamb. A big lion came and asked him for money to spend on foolish things. The lamb said no. But then the Devil laughed and ate the lamb, because the Devil was hungry. The lion then tried to eat both the Devil and the lamb inside the Devil's stomach, but the Devil put the Cruciatus Curse on the lion and the lion soon died.



Send donations through Paypal @ Frank Wilson:Reverend of the Frank Wilson@ Church @ Frank Wilson's Church fund.doc (Thanks to Shawn for setting up my email).

2 Sides 2 A Story: Would a Baby Make a Good President?

Side 1: A Baby Would Make a Terrible President
by Jack Lerner, Editor-in-Chief, Politics and Power

In the U.S. Constitution, it is written than a person shall be 35 years old and a natural born citizen to be considered for the Presidency. Some have suggested these rules are outmoded and ripe for amendment. They say this in the hopes of one day electing Arnold Schwarzenegger. Or with the spurious reasoning that there are brilliant young minds out there that may become corrupted and dull with the years. These reasons I can abide. But what I cannot abide--what I will NEVER stand for--is the small but vocal minority of voters who believe the time has come to elect a newborn baby President of the United States.

Simply put, electing an infant as President would be a disaster in every sense and definition of the word. Think back to when you were a baby, if you can. Were you competent enough to run a country at the age of zero? Are the babies you know capable of such a thing? Highly doubtful.

If being President meant spitting up on a bib, drinking milk from a warmed bottle, and chewing on a pacifier, then by all means. But that is not what the Presidency is about. It is about wisdom, leadership, and charisma. You show me the smartest baby in the world and I will show you a person who has none of those characteristics.

Please, for the sake of the country, a baby should never be sent to the White House.



Side 2: A Baby Would Make a Wonderful President
by Jayden Adams, Age 6 months

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Larry Whitson Needs Work

[Note to readers: The Shark Tank is happy to give up some space today for a friend. Larry Whitson has been hit hard by the downturn in the economy. Normally this isn't a charity blog, but Larry is a good guy and he's willing to work for his dollar. The floor is yours, my friend.]

I appreciate being given the time to write directly to you fine people. I won't lie. It took a fair bit of pride swallowing to ask for this opportunity. Normally I wouldn't come to anyone, hat in hand, but desperate times call for desperate measures. And these are desperate times. You see, about a month ago, I was laid off. I've worked at the Speak n Spell factory in downtown Houston for about 25 years. I can't say it came as a shock. A bunch of us had a feeling something was going down, on account of the economy being so bad, and on account of us not having made a single Speak n Spell since 1990. But, of course, the real problem hit when Odamna got elected. That's right, you call him Obama, but I call him Odamna. Because O damn (a), what the hell happened to my job?

I had some savings. Not much. The wife...well she doesn't work. She's pretty well got her hands full with the 6 kids. Together, they've just about eaten through the savings (and then some). So, yeah, I'm in a bit of a pickle. The job market...christ, don't even get me going. Anyway, this is my last stop before heading out to the side of Highway 92 with a cardboard sign. I hope at least a few of you have a heart and I also hope you understand that I'm not asking for any handouts. Not in the least bit. I refuse to take so much as a single dollar without earning it. I want to be a man of service. A contributor to society, not a drain.

With that spirit in mind, I want to lay out some monetary figures. Don't get ruffled or step back with your hands in the air...these are just off the top of my head. I'm in a real jam here so trust me, these amounts are negotiable.

For $1: I'll write you a nice little poem and have my 3 year old son Tristan put his tiny little thumbprint on it.

For $15: I'll come out to your house and walk your dogs morning, noon, and night. Limit 3 dogs.

For $25: I'll come take your trash out. Every room in the house. I'll even do it for a moderately sized business, if you don't employ a janitor.

For $30: I'll come out and mow your lawn. Front, back, and sides.

For $37: I'll come out and mow your lawn. Front, back, and sides. I'll also eat the grass clippings and any yard varmints that get caught up in the mower.

For $49: I'll put on a Tyrannosaurus Rex costume and whistle the theme from Doogie Howser M.D. and then sleep under your bed for a month.

For $55: I'll paint a picture of Adolf Hitler riding a carousel at an amusement park.

For $76: I'll put a virus on your computer (PC only), remove it, and replace your current wallpaper with a picture of myself wearing a blue Best Buy shirt and no pants.

For $85: I will smoke the latest issue of US magazine.

For $101: I'll do a book report on Huckleberry Finn, written on Hello Kitty stationary.

For $125: I'll slap you so hard you'll see stars and possibly pass out for a few moments. Then I'll put my fingers in your ears.

Again, please note that these figures are merely meant as a starting point. If you'd like to negotiate, or if you have any other tasks or services that you require, please let me know. I am very open minded and very, very broke.

Greg Duberson's Easter Sale

[Even the Shark Tank has to pay the bills somehow, so for today's entry I'm turning the wheel over to Greg Duberson. Duberson is the "undisputed king of Easter and also every holiday" and is here to tell you about some of the wonderful products he's selling this year. Take it away, Greg!]

Greg Duberson's Easter Extravaganza!!

It's such an honor and a privelege that Shawn and The Shark Tank are letting me come here and tell you all about the great and COOL stuff I have to sell to you on this great Easter holiday! As you know, Easter is all about the coming of the Jesus and how he died for our SINS! But it's not the least bit of a sin for you to come out to my shop and take a look at some of the great Easter PRESENTS that will make your loved ones stand up and shout "The Easter Holiday is the best in the WORLD!"

No more talking about it! More Getting to the PROGRAM!



JESUS BASEBALL CARD!





This card is RARE! I don't think it has anything to do with the real Jesus in the Bible but it sure would be a funny gift for someone in your family if they liked baseball and they also liked the Bible! One time I was at a baseball game on EASTER day and I bought a bag of peanuts from that guy who's always going around yelling about peanuts and beer. He threw the bag at me and I wasn't even looking. It hit me in the face! I started laughing but I really didn't think it was funny and later I tried to sue them but I didn't really know how to do that so nothing ever happened. $9.50.



JUICE BOX!





I don't know if you go to church or not but if you don't then you should because you won't be saved if you just go around thinking mean thoughts and stealing mail from other people's mailboxes. Anyway, sometimes at church they have comunionn, which is where you drink some grape juice and eat a cracker. Now you can do this yourself or you can take it to church and save the church from having to use up so much of their own grape juice! $1.00


EGG HOME!





A lot of times people get eggs at Easter and they HIDE them around the yard or around the house. But then maybe the kids find the eggs and don't have any place to put them because eggs roll around and sometimes they get lost FOREVER! If you get this little egg home, your kids can put their eggs inside and then they wont loose them before its time to find the candy or paint them or whatveer! I had some real EGGS in the home before, but they started to smell really bad like when you poop so I had to get rid of them. The egg home still smells a little like that. $3.00.


RABBIT JERKY!




I almost dont even want to sell this pack of rabbit JERKY because it's so delishhh! It says on the front of the package that its supposed to be just for dogs but I can tell you from my own opinion that you shouldn't even THINK about giving it to your dog. It's way too good for that! Also every time I talk about rabbit jerky or beef jerky I think about the JERKY BOYS! Remember them from back in the day? They were so funny when they would call people up and be like, "Ha, what's up, jerky!" $5.50


Well that's all I'm going to tell you about because if I keep showing you all the stuff I have you won't even have any surprises when you come out to see me! I didn't even tell you about the best thing because Shawn said that it might be illegal to put it up on the Internet. But it's not I'm pretty sure. It's just kinda weird. Anyway, the sale is open Saturday and Sunday, sun or rain! Just go back behind the Freevale Trailer Park in Ybor City, FL, and you'll see a van with the words "EASTER EASTER COME GET YOUR EASTER" on the side and that'll be me!

Greg Duberson's St. Patrick's Day Sale

[Even the Shark Tank has to pay the bills somehow, so for today's entry I'm turning the wheel over to Greg Duberson. Duberson is the "undisputed king of St. Patrick's Day and also every holiday" and is here to tell you about some of the wonderful products he's selling this year. Take it away, Greg!]

GREG DUBERSON'S ST.PATRICK'S DAY BLOWOUT!!!

I can't tell you enough how much it means to me for Shawn and The Shark Tank to let me come back and tell all you folks about the special sale I'm having tomorrow (AND TODAY) for St. Patrick's Day. The last time I was here and I told you about the Valentine's Day stuff and all that, and I couldn't BELIEVE how many people showed up. It was really heart warming and it made me think that maybe I was right when I told that doctor to go to heck.

Let's do it!!

DEAD FROG!!



I thought it would be so much fun to mostly sell green stuff on St. Patrick's Day, since so much of the holiday is about wearing green stuff and drinking things that aren't usually green but then they are green on this DAY. Like green beer, like I once drank at a bar in Port St. Lucie. But the weird thing was is that it wasn't even St. Patrick's Day in fact I think it was closer to Christmas. And I remember that it gave me the poops for almost a week. But anyway, this is a dead frog I found and you can see that he's not really green, but when I think of frogs I think of green frogs like Kermit. For sale only $3.25.

GREEN UNDERWEAR!!



These are brand new from the store and now you can wear em for only a part of the cost!! Naw, I'm just kidding, they're mine. I don't really remember why I bought them except I remember I used to watch those commercials with the green M&M and I would start to feeling in that way that made me want to rub up against my trailer. I guess that's why I bought this underwear even though I kinda think it's for a girl. I only wore them a few times though so they're like NEW! $10.50.


JAR OF PICKLES!!



Do you like pickles because to me they're about the worst thing I've ever tasted in my LIFE! One time this guy gave me a pickle and he said "try that" and so I did. Well it's kind of embarrassing but the second I bit down on the pickle, I started to throw up. But then I didn't want to be rude or nothing so I held my throw up inside my mouth and I ate the pickle and swallowed the throw up back down in my stomach. $5.99.


STREET SIGN!!




Well, I don't actually have this one in stock right now but if you are interested, I can help you get it down. I've got some tools leftover from when I was in the plumming business and I don't think it should be too hard to get it down. One thing is that it might be against the law to take the sign down so if your a cop or something probably you have to tell me before we make the sale. Because if you don't then that's entrapment and I won't go to jail.

Well, that's all I've got to show you. I don't want to give away all the stuff I have because then there wouldn't be any surprises for you to actually show up and SEE! Anyway, I've moved to the back of Catfish Country in Lakeland, FL right off of South Bartow Highway. If you come around the back then you'll see my van and I'll have a sign out front that says St. Patrick's Day SALE! and there'll be a little drawing of a leprechaun. THANKS!

Curly The Dazed Cat (Who May or May Not Have Ever Lived In Egypt)

Hi there! I'm Curly the Dazed Cat! Welcome to the blog that I am takin' over!





Master would be all kinds of REAL MAD if he saw me in here type-type-typin away on his old ass computer!

Move it over!

Just like the time I did the bad stuff in the kitchen! OOOHHH, he was real mad and he puts me into the chester-drawers for a WEEK!






But I am a GOOD CAT, and my master knows it too! That's why he says he's a takin me to the CAT HOTEL for VACASHUN tomorrow!

YAY

He even said he was gonna give them an extra $20 to move me to the front of the line for the FUN GAS! I can't WAIT!

Guest Blogger: Steven Barnhill

[Note to readers: Steven Barnhill is a friend of The Shark Tank and an aspiring children's author and illustrator. Having had little success getting published by traditional means, we agreed to give him some space today to show off his talents. Here's one of his newest tales.]



The Wolf And The Girl
by Steven Barnhill


Katie was a girl who rode the bus to school in the morning and went home by way of walking.





On the way home, she met a ferocious wolf who told her: "I like the smell of your sandwiches!"

Katie was shocked because she wasn't holding any sandwiches and she'd had oysters for lunch. Plus it was a wolf! And the wolf was talking to her! Have you ever met a talking wolf? In real life, I mean.




The wolf then dropped to his knees (because this wolf had knees) and said to Katie: "Give me one your sandwiches pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaase!"

But Katie wasn't about to give him a sandwich! She only had one left and she was saving it! For tomorrow's lunch. "I won't give you my sandwich, wolf! I've only got one left and I'm saving it! For tomorrow's lunch."

The bear was so sad to hear this that he ate Katie up right there on the spot! It was so gross because you could hear the bones crunching and the blood was all over the street and some of Katie's hair got stuck in the wolf's teeth!




The wolf sat back and was satisfied with himself. It turned out he wanted to eat Katie all along and didn't even care about the sandwich! Because wolves don't eat sandwiches, they eat little girls. And there are a lot more of them around than you think.

Homeschooled Harry Tackles Health Care

Note from the Shark Tank: Due to a complicated and ongoing legal settlement, we have consented (i.e. have been lawfully obliged) to offer occasional column space to Hargood Levinson. Hargood is the 16 year old product of sparse homeschooling. Enjoy.

Welcome to my first Internet column! Thanks to Judge Hamilton for making this ruling, and thanks to the gheys at the Shark Tank for [edited for violating disclosure terms of settlement]. They said I could make this column be about anything I wanted to write about. Soooo, since it's the middle of February and a lot of people are getting sick, I might as well tell you why. Oooh, you weren't expecting that, were you?

Harry's mid-term report card

You see, medical science isn't able to tell us why we get sick. It can only tell us when we are sick and what kind of disease we have (sometimes). It can't tell us how we got it or what it REALLY is. That's because these things are unknown. But that is exactly why you should never go to a doctor when you are sick. Think I'm joking? Look at these statistics.

99%--number of people who go to the doctor and die soon after.
1%--number of people who stay home when they are sick and then get better.

Now, which one of these groups would you rather be in? Alrite now really? The truth is the doctors cant tell you anything you don't already know. Do you have a stuffy head? Throwing up? You have the flu, probably, but what is the flu? How do you treat it? The doctors don't know, and neither do you. The only thing you can do is pray.

The low grade in art doesn't really seem warranted

Take Cancer, for instance. If you type Cancer into Google you'll get a bunch of search results, but that's just people like you "guessing" at what it is. Like Wikipedia. You may not know this, but anyone can edit Wikipedia and put whatever they want in there. I could go there now, erase the whole Cancer article and just write, "Cancer is caused by being gay". But that doesn't make it true, does it? I could write "AIDS is caused by being gay" and then that would be true, but it's still a 50% chance that the information you find on the Internet or in books is completely made up.

So why is there such a thing as doctors and hospitals? Well, people are dumb enough to spend their money on just about anything, but they are there for a good purpose, too. Like if you get shot, but I don't really think anyone gets shot except in movies, so there goes that. But I guess if you tripped and fell and busted your head open you could go get stitches. Ummm, that's probably about all the hospital and doctors are good for. Save your money and you'll be a lot better off.

Greg Duberson's Valentines

Even the Shark Tank has to pay the bills somehow, so for today's entry I'm turning the wheel over to Greg Duberson. Duberson is the "undisputed king of Valentine's Day and also every holiday" and is here to tell you about some of the wonderful products he's selling this year. Take it away, Greg!


Greg Duberson's Valentines!!

All righty then there is some mighty fine good Valentine's stuff I've have to sell on this day for the specialty woman in life and you can be rest assured it will be the best Valentine's Day because these are some good stuff! Before I get to the GREAT ITEMS!! I have for sale at February 14th (aND BEFORE!) i have to say THANK YOU to Shawn Bryan and the SHARK TANK for letting me tell you all about my MERCHANDISE! Let's do this thing!!!

LIGHTER!

Because you're darling is the light of your life and she makes you have a heart on fire, here is a nice new lighter that you can give her to keep the flame burning! This lighter is only $2.00 which is a special price on account of the circumstances of the economy right now and everyone losing they're jobs. I cant feel good about sticking it to people who are just trying to get by--LIKE THE DUBMAN! They say this Obama is going to get us out of this mess and people will be going back to work pretty soon and I hope that's the truth because I voted for him and that should make the difference because this is AMERICA where the people speak! If you pay me an extra $1.00 I can draw a heart on the lighter which is with a permenet Sharpie and it wont come out just like your love for him or her will never die.


FEATHER!

Wings of an angel is what your sweetie has on this VALETINE'S DAY!! Why not give her a gift that tells her that she is the bird of your life! I've only got three of these feathers in stock right now so it wouldnt be a good idea to wait around to the last minute if you've got your heart set on giving her the flight gift this day of special harmony between men and women! Some people have told me this feather came off a dove and wouldnt that be precious! A dove is the symbol of love for the earth and American soldiers too and Noah. $5.



LOCUST SHELL!

Are you going to give your sweetie flowers or those chalky candy things this Valentine's Day or are you going to give her something she'll probably remember for a long time! If you want to give her something she'll be thinking about when the lights are off and she's trying to sleep but she can't because this gift is all she can think about: A LOCUST SHELL is what you need to buy! Only $6 gets you a premiem locust shell. RARE!



WEIRD DOLL!

I don't really know about this one but i know that a lot of girls like plushy stuff so this is something they should LIKE ALSO! It costs $9.00 and I got it at the State Fair last year by winning the first prize in a game where you knock the bottles over with a ball. It got rained on because i left it in my van and the right passenger window wont go up all the day. That was the day it rained almost from the beginning of the day until the next afternoon. You might remember it because they were talking about it on channel 4. Anyway the doll is still good and it smells a little funny but you can just say thats the SMELL OF YOUR LOVE!

If you want to see all the things I have then I cant give it all away in this one commerical. Plus then you need to come out and see me and see for yourself all my good Valetine's Day suprises! If you do want to then just come out to the WAl-Mart on 43rd street in Orlando, FL, and then behind that Wal-Mart I've got a blue van and that's where I'm selling stuff for VALENTINE'S DAY! Bring your money because I cant accept any credit cards or checks or such.