An Open Letter to Myself, 10 Minutes Before Writing First "Open Letter" Post

Dear Past Shawn,

1 out of 4 bloggers are already doing the "Open Letter" gimmick. Please reconsider.

Love,
Future Shawn

P.S. Saturday's winning Lotto numbers are 12-19-26-39-41-49

An Open Letter To The 7-11 Manager Who Added Me To The "Banned for Life" List

Dear 7-11 Manager,

You should really post a sign reading, "Do not drink directly from the nozzle" on your Slurpee machine if that is your store policy.

Thanks,

Shawn

An Open Letter to the nake in my backyard

Dear nake,

I have een you in the yard, lithering through the bu he and hi ing at me when I get too clo e. It' time for you to leave, plea e.

incerely,

hawn

CC: Dell Computer , INC.

Dear Dell,

A certain letter on my keyboard no longer work . Plea e end replacement.

Thank ,

hawn

An Open Letter To That Guy Trying To Break Down My Front Door With An Ax

Dear Ax Guy,

You know it's open, right?

Sincerely,
Shawn

An Open Letter To The Lone Onion Ring In My Box of Burger King Fries

Dear Onion Ring,

Why are you here? Are you a stowaway? A promotional tactic? A bonus? Please respond.

Thanks,
Shawn

An Open Letter To My Eye Doctor

Dear Dr. O'Brien,

I couldn't really tell the difference between 1 and 2. I just lied and said I could to make the whole thing go away.


Sincerely,
Shawn

An Open Letter to Nickelback

Dear Nickelback,

That's enough.

Thanks,
Shawn

An Open Letter to That Box of Cheez-Its I Just Finished

Dear Cheez-Its Box,

I was troubled to see this printed on the inside: Sorry, This Box is Not a Winner. Buck up, Cheez-Its box. I found your contents delicious.

Your Truly,

The Shark Tank

An Open Letter to the Disposable Razor That Just Cut My Face To Ribbons

Dear Bic Comfort 3,

Thanks for that. No really. I've never passed out from blood loss before.

Yours truly,

The Shark Tank