07 February 2009

Ridiculously Expensive eBay Auctions

Perusing eBay in preparation for my previous blog, I happened to come across some users who were apparently a little more ambitious than my Masked Merchant alter-ego. Not settling for selling an old Nintendo game for a shiny penny, these users seem perfectly confident selling their wares for millions of dollars. Now, far be it from me to tell these users that their junk isn't worth what they're asking (a glance at completed auctions tells me that the market is doing that job for me), but ... well, let's just take a look.

First on the auction block is this handsome Turkish rug. Now, I have to admit that, as well traveled as I am (I once went as far north as Rochester, NY) I am not an expert in the ways of the Far East. For all I know, this is a perfectly acceptable price for this rug. My only question is whether this particular auction, on this particular website, is the best way to go about getting the full price for this precious artifact.

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21 million dollars is the Buy It Now price. However, judging from the seller's insistence that the price is "inestimable", and this little nugget:

. . .I imagine he would consider any less of an offer to be an insult. I thought about submitting a bid, but it turns out that Turkish rugs are expected to depreciate in the coming fiscal year. Looks like Mr. Pinkerton, the bearskin rug, will be sticking around a while longer.

Next up is a priceless piece of art from someone calling themselves "Chris Riggs for President".

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According to the auction listing, Chris Riggs (for President) is the hottest artist in New York City. Figuring this must be true for what he is charging for his work, I did a simple Google search to find out more about this new Bohemian. After wading through the listings, it seems that most--nay, all--of the websites pertaining to this gentleman are of his own origin (Facebook, personal pages, etc.). It would seem to me that the hottest artist of our time would have at least one or two outside sources regaling us with his story. The listing further claims that he has been featured in over 100 magazines and 20 independent movies. I'm not sure how to verify the magazine claim, but IMDB tells us that he has been in exactly one independent movie: something called The Promise of New York. The movie's synopsis tells us that it is about several nobodies running for Mayor of New York. Well, at least that explains the username. His over-ambition is not limited to his artwork.

Coming in at a comparatively reasonable $990,000 is this:

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That's right, folks, you can own a fork that was used by Elvis Presley (maybe?). The seller even promises that there remains some dried food on the fork. So, for your million dollars you can either buy a house comparable to this:

Or a crusty fork, exactly like this:

Decisions, decisions. . .

While you're thinking about it, take a glance at our final listing of the day, which defies description. Apparently the seller felt the same way:

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No picture is provided of the teddy bear, but the seller is gracious enough to give us this story about how the bear happened to come into her possession:

This is just a white regular Teddy Bear that I have owned for the past year. There is just something special about it. It was handed over to me by this lady at the park. I purchased it from her because she needed money to do something. She told me to sell it to someone else when I also need money. This is just a simple regular looking bear.

I'm bringing my mask out of retirement.

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