23 February 2009

School Menus: Now 7% More Random

Have you ever wanted to go back in time and eat lunch in your school cafeteria just one last time? Do you miss the strange food combinations and suspect ingredients that went into each serving? If so, the Shark Tank is here to help you relive those lost years, minus the shame and soul crushing peer pressure. With a little help from Schoolmenu.com, we've prepared a week's worth of menu mashup that only the American school system could feel proud of. Get ready to eat like a kid again!


If you read enough school menus, you'll find they use the word "style" quite a lot. Italian style spaghetti. Mexican style tacos. Man vs Wild style grubs. It's been my experience that anytime something is in the style of something else, that is a clear indication to steer clear. More troubling than that, however, are the tortilla chips w/cheese cup (Ballpark style nachos). Is this an alternative to the spaghetti? A side dish? Not to jump back and forth here, but what other styles of spaghetti are there?


On Tuesday, you can enjoy delicious picadillo with rice. I'm not even going to pretend I know what that is. Don't want that? Have some salad. Or some plantains. Oooh, but what's this? Lettuce, tomato, and shredded cheese for tacos! You could save that in your bookbag for the day they serve meat and shells for tacos!


Pizza and mashed potatoes is how we do it.


Well, that's just a Hot Pocket, no matter how else you slice it. They really have the menu writer working overtime, with such offerings as Chilled Pears. Skip the Oven Baked "Fries". Quotation marks are another sign--much like "in the style of"--that you're probably better off sampling the light whole wheat roll.


Friday is diet day. Enjoy your miniburger and your corn cobbette and remember, things could be worse:


Anni said...

We always had pizza and french fries. Or maybe "fries". It was good, though.

Yvette said...

Your menu has a lot more variety than our typical school menu. I think everyday they just serve some form of chicken.

Anonymous said...

lol!! they served nachos with beef (ew) and nacho cheese today @ work! i was like...nachos<=/=>lunch. it is a snack.

lol @ picadillo. have you researched what that is yet? at first i thought relative of the armadillo..but turns out:


...our pizza is always served with corn. bleh.

Anonymous said...

whatever. that was supposed to be "does not equal"...lol.

Anonymous said...

Friday was pizza day, the best day of the week, says michael jackson of encino,ca