I was reading an article some time ago that was addressing some of the variations on one of the most common questions people have--namely, "When is it okay...?" The questions and answers were so common and generic, however, I found myself losing interest rather quickly. "When is it okay to lie?" "When is it okay to wear white?" "When is it okay to...to...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
I looked through the article, but I couldn't find any answers to the questions I found most pressing in my life. Knowing that the article was likely to be popular and recurring, I penned a list of ten questions in the same format and submitted them to the magazine. Well, it's been roughly a year and none of my questions have made it into the magazine. However, I still need answers! Therefore, I'm turning to you...the Internet...to help me find the answers I'm seeking.
Question #1: When is it okay to eat one of those dishwasher detergent cakes?
Question #2: When is it okay to tell a department store clerk that you'd like to feel the inside of their pocket?
Question #3: When is it okay to don a rainbow colored vest and skip through a public park?
Question #4: When is it okay to use your finger to sample the salsa, rather than a chip?
Question #5: When is it okay to tell people you saw a dinosaur in their laundry hamper?
Question #6: When is it okay to poop in the shower?
Question #7: When is it okay to show co-workers your nude drawings of Abraham Lincoln?
Question #8: When is it okay to ask your father to change his name to Forrest Whitaker?
Question #9: When is it okay to admit to a (possible) homicide (legally speaking)?
Question #10: When is it okay to punch an otter?
Help me, Obi-Wan Commenters. You're my only hope.