12 June 2009

That Time I Went To The Nursing Home

I remember when I was nine years old I had to go to a nursing home for an afternoon. I was just walking down the halls of the place, minding my own business, when this old woman was all:





And so then I was like:





And she went:





And so I said:





And she came back with:






And that's when I was like:






And she was just:





Crazy old woman.

Good times. Good times, indeed.

37 comments:

Thinkinfyou said...

Cocky little fucker,weren't you!?!

nipsy said...

You're lucky she didn't pull out her willow switch and give you a good old fashioned whoopin!!

Quirkyloon said...

Wow I always wondered what you would look like with hair.

Now I know.

Ha!

Heather Cherry said...

Dang, she was oooooooooooold.

Eric said...

You've got to look out for those Jenkinses... They are a shifty lot, especially the ones that wear cameoflague.

mama-face said...

This really got to me (wiping away a tear). Super Sweet. I'm assuming she was near and dear to your heart. Sorry.

Jenn Thorson said...

Gee... my visits to the nursing home always involved watching my great-aunt open her birthday gift over and over again-- with each time joy anew. "Is this for ME?" "Er, yup. Still IS, Aunt Alda." :)

Chris said...

She looked good for 127. May she rest in peace.

And you, ya sassy little whippersnapper, need to have your mouth washed out with soap.

Kirsten said...

Damn I think that was my grandma.
RIP granny!

Soda and Candy said...

Aw, this is so heartwarming.

Kids today indeed.

dizzblnd said...

Awwwwwww how nice of you to respect your elders... with a memorandum

foxy said...

OMG - you are a fucking riot.

Shawn said...

Thinkin: To be fair, I won my neighborhood's annual NES Duck Hunt contest that week, so I was feeling pretty good.

Nipsy: No! Not the switch!

Quirky: Yep, pretty cute, eh?

Heather: Yes. But she was also mean.

Eric: Indeed. Leroy being the worst of the bunch.

Mama-face: Well, she was. In the way a good meal is near and dear to your heart.

Jenn: Well, at least that cut down on present expenses.

Chris: I know. My principal was a softy, so I never got any real discipline.

Kirsten: Whoops. Didn't mean for you to find out this way.

Soda: I know. Will someone please think of the future.

Dizz: Well, better late than never.

Foxy: Glad someone thinks so! :)

Scott Oglesby said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again, "You god damn kids, with your god damn hair, and your god damn music, had god damn well better start showing some respect!! In m.y da..y w..e...........snooozzzzzeeeee...."

ReformingGeek said...

So are you sure she's dead this time?

Winky Twinky said...

How ya doin with that bebop?

Dave said...

Nice little interchange. Say, you available to talk to my mom? She's not in a home, but she sure does have it coming!

Soda and Candy said...

Ahahahaha, you made me think of that song from the Simpsons:

"CHILdren! FUture!"

unfinishedrambler said...

I bet that was the last time you went to a nursing home, wasn't it? I sure hope so, you were one snotty little brat.

Shawn said...

Scott: All right, all right, old man. Take your meds.

Reforming: Positive. As long as I stay away from the Ouija Board.

Winky: My bebop skills have taken quite a dive, I must admit. I was one freestylin youngster, though.

Dave: Sure, want to make it a birthday event?

Soda: That's exactly what I was thinking about when I wrote that! Weird.

Rambler: No, I work in one to this very day. Never been convicted of a single "smothering" (regardless of all the rumors and...coincidences.)

Candice said...

I bet she's bebopping with J Chrizzle in H town right as we speak.

RIP to your homegirl.

shopgirl101 said...

This is EXACTLY the kind of old lady I want to be.

Blue Balls The Sad Clown said...

Poor Marybelle,

Dead thanks to a heroin induced auto erotic asphyxiation game with her pet spaniel, Bernard. Still, it’s how everyone said she’d go.

C. Andres Alderete said...

Anybody ever tell you you looked like Little Bo Peep when you were a kid?

dizzblnd said...

DID you ever submit your blot to AAYSR? I REALLY think they'd love it!

Nate Fakes said...

RIP. She sounds like she was a very special lady. Lol

Shawn said...

Candice: Awesome. I hope she doesn't break a hip.

shopgirl: Just remember to take your mean pills every day.

Blue Balls: I purposely did not include that information, because kids read this blog. Hopefully not the comments, though.

C. Andres: Only when I wore the shepherdess outfit.

Dizz: I don't wanna do...*kicks rock*

Nate: She was special, all right. Aren't we all?

otin said...

My brother was a maintenance man for a nursing home in the late 80's and there was this 92 year old guy that used to swear that they were putting salt peter in his food so that he couldn't get it on with any of the other residents! LOL, I have not thought about him in years, funny memories!

Susie Jefferson said...

Just discovered your blog via Maugeritaville - and have to say I haven't enjoyed myself so much for ages! Thank you for a great laugh - and yes, I read a load of others. I'll be visiting again very soon.

Theresa said...

Okay, my cheeks hurt from laughing through the whole post. Thanks for that!

dizzblnd said...

baaaaaaaaaaawk bawwwwwwwwwwk. baaaaaaaaaaaaaawk.

My DAUGHTER submitted hers... come ooooooooooooooooooooon

Shawn said...

Otin: Yeah, you can't have the seniors getting frisky. Who knows what that could lead to, but nothing good.

Susie and Theresa: Thanks!

Dizz: Yeah...s'true.

bearmancartoons said...

What is AAYSR? American Association of Youth serving the Retired?

Shawn said...

Bearman: Yes.

Surveygirl46 said...

Those elders aren't really all that sweet are they? I used to work in a nursing home - if you think the old women are bad, try having to deal with the old men that want to tell you a nice story....on their laps...LOL (funny post:))

Nan-Nan said...

Sharky: Did you have this funny personality when you were 10 years old? Or did your life experiences warp you up in such a hilarious fashion as to make you funny from every whichaway? Well, which is it? The chicken or the egg?? I swear, I can't get my breath......dude you slay me, you really do. So, OK, be careful-don't go out and get hit by a bus or something, because the world would be a much less FUNNY place without our daily Shark Fix. ;)

Ambrosia said...

Damn...127 years old! I think she was right about the bebop...you don't live to be that old without knowing a little sumthin about beboppin...