29 May 2009

Product Review: Vtech CS111 Cell Phone

Well, there's no two ways around it: this cell phone is a piece of shit. While it works decently inside the house, I found it had an extraordinarily short range. In fact, I counted how many steps away from my driveway I could take before the connection cut out. 42. Forty two measly steps. Meanwhile, my friend's Motorola can get reception all over town. All over the state, in fact. He asked me what network I was on, but I don't even really understand all of that network mumbo-jumbo. I have phone service through Verizon, though. I guess that's what he means. Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? No, I can't, because this cell phone isn't worth the cheap plastic that was used to put it together. Avoid at all costs. Zero stars out of a possible 349.

32 comments:

Me-Me King said...

Just how much is a piece of shit these days?

mama-face said...

phew... thanks for that review. It looked so handy what with the carrying case and all. I'm assuming there is a belt clip on the back?

btw...your measly steps could possibly be of a different length than mine. You do need to take that into consideration. Just a helpful tip.

Funnyrunner said...

hmmm. Is this an actual picture? Haven't cell phones gotten smaller?

Margo said...

Have you plugged it in? Or maybe you can do something with a coat hanger and some tin foil.

freetheunicorns said...

I still have my Zach Morris shoulder-strapped, battery-pack brick of a "cell" phone.

Winky Twinky said...

Hello?... it's all staticky.. are you there? Helloooooo.....??

Chris @ Maugeritaville said...

This is very subtle and funny as hell. I'm not sure funnyrunner gets it.

Heather Cherry said...

High five, Chris!

Candice said...

Thank God. I almost went with that one instead of the iphone.

Scott Oglesby said...

Thanks for the warning! Beware of the Kindle too! Since I bought mine, they haven’t faxed me any books at all! I can’t even figure out where to put the paper. I gave up and tried to use it as Kindling but the damn thing doesn’t burn right either, I don’t know what the hell to do with it now! Maybe we could trade, your cell phone for my book maker??

DouglasDyer said...

I hope you *n make ou* what I* say*g...need to *ll you that is NO* a c* ph*!!! It's just a ***! *n *ou hear m*?? I said it's N*...

Jenn Thorson said...

I recommend two tin cans and a piece of string. It's Old School but...

Mike said...

Thanks man. I was just about to buy one of those things because they're only $20.

You're a lifesaver!

ReformingGeek said...

I have an old brick phone if you need something right away.

C.B. Jones said...

I thought vTech only made kids toys? The the...

Wendy said...

You have to step out from under the cone of silence. That might be your problem.

The Stabbing Pen said...

CALM DOWN. Just get some cups and string. PROBLEM SOLVED.

Eric said...

Vtech??? I thought those were called Lackberries.

Phillipia said...

I have that same phone...I don't know what your problem is...I love it. I think we're breaking up...damn...I'm losing ya....

Nate Fakes said...

Gosh. What a hunk of junk! My rotary does the same thing!

Jeff said...

Thanks for the heads-up. I almost missed this review, because I was trying to log on to the Internet via my old "Selectric" model computer, which doesn't even have a screen!

Theresa said...

I found you through Maugeritaville and I'm glad I did. Hilarious stuff!

George said...

You need to get with it, Shawn. I just got one of those cell phones that come with a cord that lets me know how much tower coverage I can receive. Once that cord snaps away from its handy jack, I know what my reception limits are. Plus, it's absolutely theft-proof.

I tell ya, corded cellys are gonna be the wave of the future. And some of 'em even have a WHEEL you can use to text with (especially if you hate those pesky buttons.

bearmancartoons said...

It's only a mobile phone when you get so pissed off about it that you chuck it out the window.

FreakSmack said...

I bought that hunk of junk too (It doesn't even have a car charger). At least I know I'm not the only one.

Maureen said...

Ah yes. VTech. Does that stand for Very Technical? Vaguely Technical? I'd bet the latter.

Dave said...

Wow, you give products up to 349 stars? I'd have to borrow stars to give that much. I'd make some joke about the phone, but all the good ones were used up (see above).

Blue Balls The Clown in Drag said...

The 349 star system has yet to be embraced Europe. When will they learn, Shawn?

Blue Balls The Clown: His Editor said...

The 349 star system has yet to be embraced IN Europe. When will they learn, Shawn?

(Sorry about that Shawn, BBC's shoes were exploding as he was writing the comment. He was distracted. Fortunately he has a keen editor in me… The copy editor for Blue Balls the Clown.

Thinkinfyou said...

You are a little S L O W ,aren't you?

Shawna said...

Pretty great blog, if I do say so myself!

tracy said...

LOL...finally a non-glowing review. Never thought I'd see one. lol... bravo

tracy