03 July 2009

Greg Duberson's 4th of July Sale

[Even the Shark Tank has to pay the bills somehow, so for today's entry I'm turning the wheel over to Greg Duberson. Duberson is the "undisputed king of the 4th of July and also every holiday" and is here to tell you about some of the wonderful products he's selling this year. Take it away, Greg!]


GREG DUBERSON'S 4TH OF JULY BONANZA!!

Well guess what it's your old pal "the Dubes" here again with some great stuff for you to celabrate the 4th of July in style because if there's anything that we're talking about on this day it is INDEPENDENCE! That means we don't have to be afraid of terrorists or the british or also the guys who dress like girls.Because this is MAN'S BUSINESS and it's all about AMERICA! Want to have the time of your life then this is the place and I've got the goods! Let's SEE WHAT'S HERE!

AMERICAN FLAG TEE SHIRT!!




Now with this tee shirt that I designed myself with the help of some photo software you can be looking the part of a real patriot on this INDEPENDENCE DAY! Speaking of that, have you seen that movie? That's probably the best movie of all time if you ask me and if you want I've got a copy of that tape in my van and I might just play it while the sale is going on. I taped it off TV but I took out all the commercials and junk. $22.99


1776 MARBLES!!




I counted them myself which took me just about forever. You can't have the jar, but if you bring something to hold the marbles in I can just pour them out into whatever you bring. The reason you can't have the jar is because it belongs to my neighbor and he likes to keep stuff like insects and bats and stuff in it. I dont know what he's using to hold all that stuff while I'm using it for my marbles but I hope there's not a bat flying around in his house because it could bite him and then he might turn into a dracula. $9.50.


INDEPENDENCE DAY VIDEO!!




Aw, why the hell not. $7.75


ALOE PLANT!!



A lot of people like to set off fireworks themselves on the 4th of JULY I KNOW I DO! But if you're not careful you can burn yourself with one of those sparklers or even blow your hand plum off. I remember one time when I was just a young buck there was this kid named Danny Matthews and he lit a cherry bomb off and didn't get away fast enough. It didn't even hurt him at all but later that summer he got hit by a milk truck and it made him retarded. $35.00.


Well that's not all I got, but that's all I'm going to show you on this blog because we have to keep some things a SURPISE to make you want to come out and see the sale!!! I changed locations again, this time I'll be in the parking lot of Bok Tower Gardens in Lake Wales, Florida on Friday from 8:00 in the morning till whenever and the same thing on Saturday unless security kicks me out and then I'll be at the Hardees on state road 60.

32 comments:

Venom said...

I think Dube might be related to my buddy, Crabby Steve, who says he's going to have a yard sale soon. I can't wait to see the treasures....

dizzblnd said...

Lake Wales Huh... that's about a 3 hour rive for me. I just might come on over and pick up some of those great deals. I have a human skull I can put the marbles in.

Lunatron (aka Jamie) said...

Consider relocating down the road from Bok Gardens to Spook Hill. I bet those Aloe plants would go like hotcakes if people could see them rolling uphill.

Eric said...

Dube, would you sell me exactly half of those marbles? Not sure if I want to spend the whole $9.50.

PS - does that tshirt really have the 'Freedom aint free' words on it? If not, could you write it in on the back?

foxy said...

Freedom isn't free, there's a hefty f'n fee. If you don't throw in your buck o'five, who will??

Quirkyloon said...

I was excited about the marbles, until I saw the color of the marbles.

Come on...for Independence Day? The marbles should be red, white, and blue.

Hello?

*smile*

Soda and Candy said...

I bet the Dubes lives somewhere near me, he sounds like a good ol' boy.

this post made me LOL all the way through : )

Sue said...

Yeah, I think you could have sold all the marbles at once if they were red, white and blue. I would bought them if I could match up my Tupperware containers with lids.

ReformingGeek said...

Um...does the video come with that picture of Will?

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

Great job, Dubes. Put me down for three of the aloe plants.

"Got hit by a milk truck and made him retarded . . ." Funny shit.

brookeamanda said...

I think Greg should sell his crap at my hometown's awesome "Freedom Fest." Eveyone would LOVE that t-shirt!

Dave said...

I almost shed a tear while hearing about Dube and his patriotic crap. *Sniff* God Bless America.

Scott Oglesby said...

Hey Dubes!
I’ll be there with bells on! Do you have any bells?

bearmancartoons said...

Freedom aint free but how about sneaking me a couple marbles.

Blue Balls The Pitch Man said...

I like your style, Greg. You might want to consider adding the phrase "I must be crazy" in there. It's an old sales trick. Makes people think they are taking advanatge of a nut. People love to do that.

Heather Cherry said...

Aw man, I've been waiting for the Dubes to make an appearance. He never disappoints!

thinkinfyou said...

The "Dubes" travels,doesn't he? I think I saw him hocking his wares in my neck of the woods last weekend.

C.B. Jones said...

For the sake of preventing an outbreak of Draculas, I'd like to buy any containers that Mr. Duberson may have in his possession.

freetheunicorns said...

The Dubes is one entrepreneurial chap. To have the foresight to sell aloe is simply genius. He should swing up to Canada for Canada Day next year.

Me-Me King said...

Since I've lost my marbles, 1776 would be a good start on rebuilding my sanity.

Jenn Thorson said...

Aw... well, color me disappointed! (disappointed is a nasty brown-purple, by the way. Sort of like puce)

But I mean, I only saw that too late and I actually NEEDED 1776 marbles and could have used the aloe to tend the wounds from having blown off my hand with fireworks.

Man, of all the luck!

Margo said...

that Independence Day movie really is like the new
It's a Wonderful Life" Hope the sale went well :)

George said...

I waited at that Hardee's all day and didn't even see you!

Jason said...

Hey great site!

I was wondering if you wanted to exchange links with us. Let me know if this is possible.

http://www.hilariousheadlines.com/talk

Jason

The Stabbing Pen said...

WHERE ARE YOU COME BACK

Wendy said...

What has happened to you?? You didn't get too close to the shark while you were feeding it did you?

George said...

When am I gonna get some more Shart Tank?!!! I'm writin' my congressman or mistress or sumbody!

Dalton J. Fox said...

Where'd you go, man?

nipsy said...

Where the blue hell are you?! I'm feeling deprived. Now stop slacking and enjoying your summer and get back to work, I miss your chuckles.

Hugo H. Ottolenghi said...

Post something new. IRSC students are following you. (Prof. Ottolenghi)

unfinishedrambler said...

Just letting you know, still thinking of you. Won't say what I'm thinking of you at this point, but still thinking of you ;).

surveygirl46 said...

Ok that was stuff no one would buy at a garage sale, right? In fact, I think I owned those marbles at one time. LOL the shirt was my favorite...